I am in the last month of my sabbatical. I have tried not to think too much about it ending . It is part of my focusing on living more in the present and not in the past or future. My tendency in life has been to dwell on the past and to focus on planning for the future. So I have focused on not grieving the end of my sabbatical but enjoying each day as it comes. And yes, I will grieve the end. I will grieve not because I do not enjoy my work. I will grieve because I have truly enjoyed this special time in God's presence and extra time with Spring. And I honestly do not want it to end.
I know that I want to keep this momentum going in my relationship with God and being present to him. It is definitely easier to remain present to God when I do not have the other distractions of this world around me like when I am out in nature. It is very easy for me to connect with God and be present with him in nature. It is easier to have gratitude and joy when I am sitting by a river with God, Spring, and no other sounds but the sounds of nature. But as much as I would love to have WiFi out in nature by a river so I could work from there everyday, it is not possible. So I have begun to take time each day keeping in my journal things I am grateful for from the day before and the current day. It is slowly but surely helping to change my mindset a bit and to help me to live in the present with God. Practicing gratitude is helping to take my focus on things that could happen in the future. I still have my days where I dwell on the past or plan ahead for worst case scenarios. But those days are getting fewer and for that I am grateful.
I believe I have been gifted with the ability to plan very well, to take a look at diffirent scenarios in the future and work out different options and solutions. But I have overused that strength to the point that it has kept me from having the joy of living in the present. That is a definitely one of the big takeaways for my sabbatical. There is a time to plan. But those plans need to hold loosely and the planning should not keep me from being present to God and those around me. I will grieve the end of my sabbatical. However, I am also excited to see how God is going to use what he has been doing inside of me moving forward post sabbatical.
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