It is the first week of my sabbatical. I had told a couple people that one thing I was scared of heading into sabbatical was that God wouldn't show up. Logically, I knew this fear did not make sense but I was being true to what I felt in my heart. Well, God has already shown up and just in the first week. I was looking at this first week as a way to just disengage and disconnect from work and other commitments I had. God helped me to do that and so much more.
Time was precious this first week. Time with Spring and God was just what was needed this first week. God immediately started working on my struggles with my true identity. He immediately started working on my restlessness and always looking ahead instead of being just present with Him and others I am with. Spring and I had a great time together connecting with great conversations, playing games, and just being together out in God's incredible creation. It was restful and peaceful to just be present with her in our time together. I feel so blessed that God connected us and that we both love being outdoors as much as we both do.
Spring and I camped close to a spot we normally camp at next to a river. We have always wondered what was across the river. It looked interesting and inviting. At the new place we camped, there was a large log across the river that enabled a way across to the other side. I went over and explored a bit, quickly to discover it was not as inviting and interesting as it looked. I learned quickly that God's invitation was not to explore that area but to rest in His presence in the beautiful spot he led us to for camping. The beauty was just where we were, with Him.
One of the days this week, I was going through one of the days I downloaded ahead of time from the Lection 365 app. I had downloaded it ahead of time, knowing that we would be out of cell range. What stuck with me was the yielding prayer on Thursday. It went like this:
Lord, you know how oftern I feel small, insignificant, bypassed, forgotten, or just a bit hopeless. But remembering Your faithfullness in days gone by, I surrender to Your sovereign plan for my life. Remembering the rock from which I am hewn, I chose to trust You with the things I fear most. Remembering your sacrifice for me on the cross, I choose to trust You with the things I've lost and the things I fear losing.
Worry and fear have kept me from living in God's presence, just being with Him. It has kept me from being fully present to the people around me. God and I did a lot of work this week starting to deconstruct those worries and fears. I say starting because there is still so much to be done, so much hard work. But I remain totally open to the work that God wants to do in me.
Spring had left Thursday morning so it was just me for a couple days. On Friday morning, I decided to head up to a place to watch the sunrise behind Mt Hood. God reminded me this morning of truths He was telling me earlier in the week. Truths of:
He sees me
He hears me
He loves me
God met me Friday morning with a perfect sunrise (header image of this post), perfect weather (not too cold and just a small, light breeze), and perfect time with just the two of us (no one else was around at this spot). As the sun came up behind Mt Hood, I wept with joy and a comfort in a God who not only showed up, but set the stage for the work He will do in my soul this summer.
And yes, because our God is a good, good God, He didn't stop at the sunrise. All the times Spring has been in this area, several times over almost 40 years, and all the times we have been in this area the last few years hiking and camping, we have never seen a bear. But on this morning, on my drive back to camp, I saw a bear. A beautiful site of God's creation. Another reminder that God will not only show up, He will surpass my expectations.
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